Two's company.

Mrs O's anniversary bouquet!

I know, I didn't get that expression quite right.  Or, perhaps they didn't get it quite right--whoever 'they' are.  Three's company, four is a crowd. . . well, sometimes things get crowded in this family of four!  See, this past weekend my parents took the boys for the weekend so we could celebrate our seventh anniversary.  Alone.  Together.  Just the two of us.  We didn't go anywhere. . . well, not far.  We stayed at a little B&B here in town.  We explored the chocolate shops--bourbon truffles!  Tried some new restaurants: Wild Eggs for breakfast, Cafe Mimosa for pot stickers and crab rangoons, and Coco's Chocolate Cafe for more chocolate!

We've recently relocated, and it had been a long time since the two of us had a weekend away.  It was only recently that we got back into the habit of date nights.  It's taking a while to get settled back into a routine.  We'd like to think that it should always be spontaneous, but sometimes life just prevents the spontaneous, so we have to make a plan to stay healthy and enjoy spontaneity when it happens.  An anniversary is the perfect reason to plan a few days away, even if 'away' isn't far.  We billed it as a chance to explore our new town.  It turned out, that we also got to learn a little about each other as well.  New town.  New job.  New surroundings.  Life just changes you, doesn't it?  Sometimes, I don't even realize how I've changed until I start explaining it to Mrs O.  It's amazing what a little conversation can do!

Note to self: Take time to make time.

Baby changes everything. . .

I ran into this article this morning. The article is mainly about balancing a healthy lifestyle with being a good mom, but there is one marriage related issue that I want to point out. At the beginning of the article, the writer states that pre-pregnancy the mom-to-be frequently excercised with her husband. Now, post pregnancy the writer suggests that moms priorities should be: being a good mom, her health and her job--respectively. The writer, also a friend of mom, is offering to go for walks in the park with her to help her get back to her healthy routine.

Ummm. . . wait a minute. Where's Dad? Is the marriage on the priority list? In my opinion, it should be number one--yes, before being a good mom. Parents can keep each other healthy and therefore empower each other to be the best parents. I mean, are we partners or aren't we?

Perhaps the friend could stay home with the baby while mom and dad go for a walk in the park!

Read on:

Stay Fit and Healthy at Any Size: Shape Magazine

Slouch more. . . Fight less

When Mrs O was little. . . way back in 'once-upon-a-time' time. . . her parents had a creative solution to sibling squabbles.  When the girls would get fighting, they would make them stand face to face and hug.  At first the girls would be at arms length; their finger tips would barely touch the shoulders of the adversary. 
"Closer!"  The parents would demand.  The girls would inch closer, faces turned away, scowls across their lips. 
"Closer!"  The sisters would begin to crack a smile despite their best efforts.
"Closer!"  Their fingers would now almost touch behind the other's neck, the tension would begin to loosen.
"Closer!"  Now grinning or even laughing, the sisters would be embraced in a proper hug and the fight was over.

Interesting, isn't it.  This came to me the other day when the Mrs and I were. . . not really fighting, but just tense with each other.  It was one of those days when you just know you're going to end up arguing if you don't change the direction of the day.  A take-two works well here, but this time, Mrs O simply said, "I miss my friend."  I had been completely oblivious to the scowl on my face, my crossed arms, and the way I had squared off my stance.

I couldn't help but uncross my arms and cross the room to give her a hug.  As I rested my head on her shoulder, all the tension melted away.  The wisdom of my in-laws suddenly made tangible sense in a new way.  You just can't fight like that. 

The anger management thing isn't as tough as we sometimes make it out to be.  Sometimes you just have to change your 'stance.'  Change the tone of your voice.  Change your posture.  After all, if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it's probably a duck.  If you want to be a lover and not a fighter, then walk and talk like a lover and not a fighter. 

Simple, really.

Top Ten in 2010: #7

Lazy days on our first family vacation: Sorrento, Maine

Lounging in a chair on the deck in the Maine summer sun.  We had a blast hanging out as a family!  Our vacationing habits have changed a bit over the past couple of years.  When we first got married, I wanted lots of vacation time to either do nothing, or work on home projects...Mrs. O wanted lots of vacation time to do fun touristy things, go to the city, museums, etc.  Now, we seem to expect similar things.

There are times when this new phase of marriage can seem less than exciting.  We now have young boys who rule our schedule, more or less.  We have to find childcare if we want to go out on a date.  Due to our early morning waking hours, we don't like to stay out late.  We are starting to really know each other such that there aren't that many surprises anymore.  The adrenaline level is just generally lower.  It is in this 'comfortable' stage that we have to create our excitement.  We have to be intentional.

I'm thankful for the 'boring' days at home, because home is my escape from the world.  I'm thankful for the lack of surprises, because it means I am known.  I'm thankful for the lower level of adrenaline, because I have greater security.  I'm thankful for early waking, because it means I have two amazing little boys.  I'm thankful for lazy days of reading in the sun, because I have my best friend beside me.

Top 10 in 2010: #8
Top 10 in 2010: #9 
Top 10 in 2010: #10