Real love and the real New York

(This post is continued from Vegas baby!)

Real love is like the real New York: Manhattan is messy.  I mean, not buried in dirt, but not pristine, either.  Paris is the same way.  Cairo is probably similar, but I haven't been there!

New York also has some great stuff: those vendors selling delicious hot dogs on nearly every corner with the sauerkraut on them.  They have Garrett's popcorn, Central Park, cabs, crowds, Broadway, Times' Square.  Real love is like the real New York: sometimes, the mess is part of the experience.  The fake stuff doesn't cut it.

It struck me that Vegas has done the same thing with love that they've done with New York.  In Vegas, there are the places that claim to offer a sensual atmosphere, but it's just another facade.  The ads almost look like something real.  Something we want.  But they're not. They're just fakes.  It almost looks better than the real thing--picture perfect.

Trouble is, as I see it, there's this part of the sensual stuff that can't be faked: my emotion.  The excitement is real.  Even if I recognize the sensual ad for the bogus thing it is, the incited emotion is real.  I've heard it said, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."  But, does it?  You leave the ad, the show, the you-name-the-indulgence, but you take something with you.

Baggage.

Anger.  Bitterness.  The result of a person who has made emotional investments and ended up underwater.  And, what's worse?  It doesn't feel like it's really directed at anyone or any event.  How do you resolve that?

I think lust is like unrequited love.  There's a real excitement involved.  An emotional investment made.  The only problem is that the rate of return is guaranteed to be zero.  The emotional deficit that follows is destructive.

Lots of men struggle with lust and lots of men struggle with anger management.  Perhaps these are connected.  Perhaps the cause of the anger problems is related to unresolved baggage--underwater investments--in an emotional sense.  Perhaps, it's time for us to break up with our beloved facades.

Real love is like the real New York.  Sometimes, it's messy.  It's not always like a fantasy but, that's the best part.  Unlike a fantasy, real love can love you back.

I have a great suggestion for reading on the subject.  The book is an easy read.  Check out my post on the book Sex God by Rob Bell.   

Sex God . . . In Review


Sex God
Exploring the Endless Connections between Sexuality and Spirituality
by Rob Bell


Must Read: This was such a fantastic book.  I picked it up because I was intrigued by the title.  I turned to the table of contents which produced more questions and still more intrigue.


Introduction: This Is Really About That
One: God Wears Lipstick. . .


. . . Eight: Johnny and June
Nine: Whoopee Forever
Epilogue: More Balloons, Please


See what I mean?  I could tell within a few pages that this would be a paradigm shifting book, and indeed it was.


Rob Bell starts out by introducing the concept of symbolism in our lives.  Material objects that mean more to us than what they are in and of themselves.  They draw their significance from the relationship that they have to something else that has significance to us: the person who made, gave, or used them before us, for example.  Then he begins to talk about us.  Our biology.  Our instincts.  He adds layer upon layer of symbolism until all of a sudden, we're talking about spirituality. . . and it makes sense!


The transition is elegant.  I didn't even realize when it happened, but by the end of the less than two hundred pages, the conversation had shifted.  In the last few chapters, it's a seamless fusion of humanity, biology, relational connection, and spirituality.  He has superimposed the human marriage onto the spiritual connection between man and creator.  The symbolism has never been clearer for me.


Rob Bell has a great writing style! It is unique: a string of vignettes, each building slightly on the last. He handles a delicate subject with skillful sensitivity. He leads the reader down a logical path to support his complex connections in such a fun way that you don't have to feel the weight of the subject matter.  You get to concentrate on the journey.  His thoughts are perfectly articulated and the subject matter is totally relevant. 


Oh, and the epilogue is the icing on the cake!

See all Must Read books I've reviewed

*I borrowed this book from a friend.  I did not receive any compensation whatsoever for reading or reviewing it.