I have a theory: if I get to the place where I am unable to read, listen to, or associate with things or persons that challenge my belief system, then I am in a dangerous place.
Strange place to start a post about a book review, you might think. That is, unless you've heard about Love Wins already. When I told some that I was reading this book I got responses like, "you're READING it?" or "Oh, I've heard about that one." I had heard of Love Wins before I read it. I first heard about it in a review that made it sound like the biggest piece of heresy in several millennia--which is of course, why I had to read it. Not because I'm looking for heretical writings, but because I have to see for myself.
So, I set to reading it. I actually got it as a gift from Nina--my mother-in-law. Thank you, Nina. I finished most of it on a plane ride, and the rest of it shortly thereafter. I LOVED it. I STILL love it. The thing I love the most is that Rob Bell is encouraging "open, honest inquiry into the things that matter most." This unapologetic, question-everything philosophy is present throughout this book. This is less a book that tells you what to think, and more a book that longs for everyone to think. . . something, and to think it on their own. I love books like that.
Bell has some interesting perspectives, and as far as I can tell, they are all based on biblical principles. He simply isn't afraid to ask the tough questions. He tests his faith and his tradition against what the Bible actually says, and he refuses to use tradition as an explanation of his faith. This book is somewhat of a description of the fundamentals of christianity through the eyes of Rob Bell. His perspectives are not as outrageous as I expected based on what I had heard and seen. . . I'm beginning to wonder how many people have formed opinions without having read the book themselves.
In his chapter, Here Is The New There, he talks about the concept of heaven on earth. He suggests that this heaven, this healing, this new life that Jesus promises can start now. In his chapter called Hell, he talks about hell on earth and addresses the concept of free will. He says, "it is vital that we acknowledge that love, grace, and humanity can be rejected. From the most subtle rolling of the eyes to the most violent degradation of another human, we are terrifyingly free to do as we please."
He also talks about the fact that some people just don't like the words sin and hell, but that there are very real physical situations happening in our world right now that require "words to be that intense, loaded, complex, and offensive, because they need to reflect the realities they describe." In essence, he doesn't write off the person who doesn't like the stuff they've heard. He doesn't pretend that the uncomfortable stuff doesn't exist. He offers a perspective that allows us to admit that there are tough issues and uncomfortable questions, and invites us to discover "the good news" by embracing and engaging. He invites us to believe in God rather than religious tradition.
This leads me to my second theory: I don't have to believe everything I hear or read. That's why I feel so free to read this book. Instead of being afraid of a book that may challenge my belief system, I will instead accept the challenges and set out to clarify for myself whether, in fact, my current system of beliefs needs an amendment.
So, do I agree with Rob Bell?
It doesn't matter. This book has given me new excitement about discovering my faith, challenging the traditions, and getting into the Bible.
That matters.
Other books I recommend:
Sex God by Rob Bell
Soul Cravings by Erwin McManus
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Money, Money, Money
Money is one of the big things that couples fight about, right? Yes. I'm right. Admit it. You two argue about money just like everybody else. Anytime we've got two people with finite resources and infinite ways to spend them, we get tension. So, what to do about it? Make a plan.
Men: in many cases, I think this is your job. There are a lot of women who do the day-to-day financial managing. In a lot of cases, I think they do a better job than their male counterparts! But, what I have noticed during many conversations is that lots of women don't like to come up with the plan--especially during times of transition where perhaps some things need to be cut. So, let's play to our strengths. In my family, this works best when I make a preliminary plan. I make decision about what I think we should cut and I make a plan that works, i.e. a plan that spends 100% of the budget, or less. Then, Mrs O and I can sit down and talk about it together.
Why is this my job? Mrs O can budget, right? Yes. She does a fine job at it. Making budget cutting decisions is stressful for her, though. I can give her a gift by absorbing that stress. I call it slaying her dragons(with little boys at home, we frequently have a 'knight in shining armor' theme!) By slaying dragons, I mean that I can respond to the things that cause her tension. It's not that she can't do it herself, but simply that she feels supported, protected, and secure if I respond to her fears and stressors on her behalf.
Men: in many cases, I think this is your job. There are a lot of women who do the day-to-day financial managing. In a lot of cases, I think they do a better job than their male counterparts! But, what I have noticed during many conversations is that lots of women don't like to come up with the plan--especially during times of transition where perhaps some things need to be cut. So, let's play to our strengths. In my family, this works best when I make a preliminary plan. I make decision about what I think we should cut and I make a plan that works, i.e. a plan that spends 100% of the budget, or less. Then, Mrs O and I can sit down and talk about it together.
Why is this my job? Mrs O can budget, right? Yes. She does a fine job at it. Making budget cutting decisions is stressful for her, though. I can give her a gift by absorbing that stress. I call it slaying her dragons(with little boys at home, we frequently have a 'knight in shining armor' theme!) By slaying dragons, I mean that I can respond to the things that cause her tension. It's not that she can't do it herself, but simply that she feels supported, protected, and secure if I respond to her fears and stressors on her behalf.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
What's in a man?
I had a moment of revelation the other day. Have you ever had one of those? One moment I'm pondering this question and the next moment I know the answer--at least, I think I do. Let's start with the question.
What makes a man?
I used to be really worried about this kind of question. I didn't feel like I fit the mold. I've never been much of a sports fan. When I first heard of March Madness, I was in college and I thought it had something to do with Seasonal Affective Disorder! I know more about cooking crepes and growing roses than I do about cars, basketball, or carpentry and I'm built like a broomstick. Nonetheless, I eventually became comfortable in my own skin, but then I still wondered: what makes a man? What is a manly man, anyway?
My moment of revelation came when I started to approach this question like I approach most others. I started thinking in terms of my faith. What does the Bible say about men. What do I think God purposed in me, as a man? I can't really find many--or any--verses that describe just what a man should be. The one that comes closest is the one in Ephesians that talks about a husband: Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church. Perplexing. Profound. Pointed.
So, what do I think the answer is? I think I've had it backwards all along--and I'm not talking about March Madness. I was aiming to become like a man when in reality, I already was a man. How silly is that? I should not be aiming to become like other men, but rather aim to be more like Christ in character. God didn't create me to be a manly man. He created me to be a godly man.
What makes a man?
I used to be really worried about this kind of question. I didn't feel like I fit the mold. I've never been much of a sports fan. When I first heard of March Madness, I was in college and I thought it had something to do with Seasonal Affective Disorder! I know more about cooking crepes and growing roses than I do about cars, basketball, or carpentry and I'm built like a broomstick. Nonetheless, I eventually became comfortable in my own skin, but then I still wondered: what makes a man? What is a manly man, anyway?
My moment of revelation came when I started to approach this question like I approach most others. I started thinking in terms of my faith. What does the Bible say about men. What do I think God purposed in me, as a man? I can't really find many--or any--verses that describe just what a man should be. The one that comes closest is the one in Ephesians that talks about a husband: Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church. Perplexing. Profound. Pointed.
So, what do I think the answer is? I think I've had it backwards all along--and I'm not talking about March Madness. I was aiming to become like a man when in reality, I already was a man. How silly is that? I should not be aiming to become like other men, but rather aim to be more like Christ in character. God didn't create me to be a manly man. He created me to be a godly man.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Mother's Day: Bargain on Flowers
If you are still looking for the finishing touches on the Mother's Day celebration, here's a deal for you from FTD and Living Social:
Only one day left to take advantage of it!! So, hurry!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Small stuff for Mother's Day
Mother's Day is coming right up, dads. If you haven't thought about what to do for mom, there's no time to lose. Start gathering ideas. Here are a few things that always get smiles from Mrs O:
Breakfast in Bed--served by her little boys(in our case)! You might bring her a cup of coffee ahead of time so she'll be ready for the main event.
Plan out the day and present her with an itinerary of fun family activities that mom and dad and kids can all enjoy together. Focus on the things she most likes to do with the kiddos.
Crafty type things with hand prints, foot prints, home-made Mother's Day cards, etc. Browse through the craft stores and see what she might like. Those stores are loaded with plaster cast kits and mugs you--or rather the kids--can decorate.
Make sure to get any laundry sorted and in the washer, take out the garbage and take care of any other chores that are bothersome to her. Make sure she doesn't feel like she has to do household chores on Mother's Day. Get them done for her ahead of time. Keep on top of the dishes. Clear and wipe the table and wipe down the counter after meals.
Does any of that sound silly? It feels silly to write out some of the household chores. I'm writing them out anyway, because I know how much Mrs O appreciates things like a clean counter top. I never would have anticipated that it would make that much of a difference, but it does! Sometimes, I think we--guys--make the celebrations too difficult on ourselves. We want it to be perfect and we think that means breaking the budget, but sometimes I neglect the small things that make all the difference.
Note to self: don't forget the small stuff.
Breakfast in Bed--served by her little boys(in our case)! You might bring her a cup of coffee ahead of time so she'll be ready for the main event.
Plan out the day and present her with an itinerary of fun family activities that mom and dad and kids can all enjoy together. Focus on the things she most likes to do with the kiddos.
Crafty type things with hand prints, foot prints, home-made Mother's Day cards, etc. Browse through the craft stores and see what she might like. Those stores are loaded with plaster cast kits and mugs you--or rather the kids--can decorate.
Make sure to get any laundry sorted and in the washer, take out the garbage and take care of any other chores that are bothersome to her. Make sure she doesn't feel like she has to do household chores on Mother's Day. Get them done for her ahead of time. Keep on top of the dishes. Clear and wipe the table and wipe down the counter after meals.
Does any of that sound silly? It feels silly to write out some of the household chores. I'm writing them out anyway, because I know how much Mrs O appreciates things like a clean counter top. I never would have anticipated that it would make that much of a difference, but it does! Sometimes, I think we--guys--make the celebrations too difficult on ourselves. We want it to be perfect and we think that means breaking the budget, but sometimes I neglect the small things that make all the difference.
Note to self: don't forget the small stuff.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Growing Little Gardeners
“Children are the world’s most valuable resource, and its best hope for the future.”
John Fitzgerald Kennedy
UNICEF Appeal
July 25, 1963
When I think about the origins of my gardening addiction, I immediately think of Grammie. I remember chilly October mornings picking Concord grapes on my grandparents’ farm in New Hampshire. I can almost feel the plump fruit bursting in my cheeks and filling my mouth with the juice--sweet and tart at the same time.
I remember walking along the rock wall where the bounty was sheltered by the meandering vines. I would walk with my grandmother, pick the clusters of wild-growing grapes and bring our harvest to her kitchen. Crushed, simmered, strained and set, the juice would turn to jelly. Grammie invested hour after patient hour teaching me, cleaning up after me, and enjoying the fruits of our labor together. It was not just about food production. It was personal.
Now having two young boys of my own, I love watching them peruse the garden for the plumpest pods of sweet peas and nibble on basil and parsley leaves as they race each other around our yard. They seem to love participating in tending the garden as much as they enjoy the harvest. I have to admit, that my desire for gardening success is sometimes at odds with my desire to pass on gardening principles, especially when seedlings are mistaken for weeds, or when small green tomatoes are mistaken for baseballs.
This past season, however, I discovered that we all benefit when I dedicate a few minutes to teaching and only teaching. It was a happy accident, but we came up with a system that works perfectly and I don’t have to suffer any internal turmoil. Here are a few of my discoveries:
John Fitzgerald Kennedy
UNICEF Appeal
July 25, 1963
When I think about the origins of my gardening addiction, I immediately think of Grammie. I remember chilly October mornings picking Concord grapes on my grandparents’ farm in New Hampshire. I can almost feel the plump fruit bursting in my cheeks and filling my mouth with the juice--sweet and tart at the same time.
I remember walking along the rock wall where the bounty was sheltered by the meandering vines. I would walk with my grandmother, pick the clusters of wild-growing grapes and bring our harvest to her kitchen. Crushed, simmered, strained and set, the juice would turn to jelly. Grammie invested hour after patient hour teaching me, cleaning up after me, and enjoying the fruits of our labor together. It was not just about food production. It was personal.
Now having two young boys of my own, I love watching them peruse the garden for the plumpest pods of sweet peas and nibble on basil and parsley leaves as they race each other around our yard. They seem to love participating in tending the garden as much as they enjoy the harvest. I have to admit, that my desire for gardening success is sometimes at odds with my desire to pass on gardening principles, especially when seedlings are mistaken for weeds, or when small green tomatoes are mistaken for baseballs.
This past season, however, I discovered that we all benefit when I dedicate a few minutes to teaching and only teaching. It was a happy accident, but we came up with a system that works perfectly and I don’t have to suffer any internal turmoil. Here are a few of my discoveries:
1. Give the kids their own space. We made them a 4’x4’ raised bed where they could plant, weed, harvest and play to their hearts’ content. I didn’t worry about plant spacing, or whether the cucumbers were going to overtake the tomatillos. I worried about that in my own space and they knew that they had to ask before helping in my gardens.
2. Keep it age appropriate. Toddlers and pre-schoolers don’t need to help with planting carrots. They have great fun with the pumpkins and their little fingers can handle the seeds just fine.
3. Focus on one task at a time. The first lesson on watering sent soil and seeds floating down the driveway in the deluge. The second time, I filled a flat with soil, skipped the seeds altogether and we practiced watering with empty soil! The soil still splashed everywhere until the kids got the hang of the watering can, but I wasn’t counting the number of forfeited seedlings and we all had a great time together!
When the stakes are low and the prized heirloom tomatoes are not at risk, everyone has more fun. Practice makes perfect and at the end of the season I found myself learning more during our teaching moments than I think my boys did. Gardening is just as much about teaching the next generation as it is about feeding this one. The veggies, the boys, and refreshing the memories of cooking with Grammie; it truly was a bountiful harvest.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Soul Cravings . . . In Review
Soul Cravings
An Exploration of the Human Spirit
by Erwin Raphael McManus
Must Read: Very thought provoking. As I read the title in the bookstore amongst the myriad non-fiction books available, I am sure this will be an interesting read. It turns out, however, to be far more than that. Every essay, every page, every statement resonates with me in some way. I like when a book does more than deliver information. This one inspires profound thought.
This book is a collection of short essays divided up into three sections: Intimacy, Destiny, and Meaning. As I settle into the comfy bookstore chair with my bride beside me and my decaf in my hand, I start with the introduction. Right from the beginning I connect with everything McManus is saying. I don't even feel like I'm reading a book; I feel like I'm writing it myself. It's like a guided tour of my own thoughts and emotions.
McManus distinguishes between religion and God. He also articulates the difference between religion and spirituality. He addresses our need to be loved for an endless list of 'good reasons' and our seeming discomfort with the concept of unconditional love. He has an artful way of separating and defining things that are intuitively indistinct.
As the book progresses, McManus explores the need in every human being to be and feel significant. He explores the effect of our relationships on our belief system and the effect of our belief system on our view of life. He quotes psychologist Thane Pittman as inadvertently saying, "I'll see it when I believe it." Overall, a fascinating investigation into the core of humanity.
The best part, though, is that this book does far more than disseminate information. Instead of pouring new information into who I am, I would rather say that something was drawn out from within me. Instead of gaining information that I didn't have before, I gained an awareness of the person I've always been. I just didn't know me before, like I do now.
See all Must Read books I've reviewed.
*I purchased this book and have not received any compensation from anyone whatsoever for reading or reviewing it. The thoughts expressed above are my own.
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| image courtesy of http://www.erwinmcmanus.com/ |
An Exploration of the Human Spirit
by Erwin Raphael McManus
Must Read: Very thought provoking. As I read the title in the bookstore amongst the myriad non-fiction books available, I am sure this will be an interesting read. It turns out, however, to be far more than that. Every essay, every page, every statement resonates with me in some way. I like when a book does more than deliver information. This one inspires profound thought.
This book is a collection of short essays divided up into three sections: Intimacy, Destiny, and Meaning. As I settle into the comfy bookstore chair with my bride beside me and my decaf in my hand, I start with the introduction. Right from the beginning I connect with everything McManus is saying. I don't even feel like I'm reading a book; I feel like I'm writing it myself. It's like a guided tour of my own thoughts and emotions.
McManus distinguishes between religion and God. He also articulates the difference between religion and spirituality. He addresses our need to be loved for an endless list of 'good reasons' and our seeming discomfort with the concept of unconditional love. He has an artful way of separating and defining things that are intuitively indistinct.
As the book progresses, McManus explores the need in every human being to be and feel significant. He explores the effect of our relationships on our belief system and the effect of our belief system on our view of life. He quotes psychologist Thane Pittman as inadvertently saying, "I'll see it when I believe it." Overall, a fascinating investigation into the core of humanity.
The best part, though, is that this book does far more than disseminate information. Instead of pouring new information into who I am, I would rather say that something was drawn out from within me. Instead of gaining information that I didn't have before, I gained an awareness of the person I've always been. I just didn't know me before, like I do now.
See all Must Read books I've reviewed.
*I purchased this book and have not received any compensation from anyone whatsoever for reading or reviewing it. The thoughts expressed above are my own.
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