Florida-phobia

August 2019--I got a call from my friend who was moving to Sarasota.  She hadn't moved yet, but she was making preparations and she had some questions.  Her job involved opening a new facility and she asked if I would take a look at the architectural drawings.  I was happy to do it.  I love these kinds of projects!  "By the way," she added "if you've reconsidered applying for the job, this is the time to send in your resume!"  

I talked to Mrs. O again.  Again, the timeline.  And now the questions: am I holding myself to some artificial obligation that only exists in my head?  Everyone around me at work knows I have wanted a job change for a long time.  They must think I'm crazy for not taking this job.  Why am I still here?  Am I afraid of something?

 

I don't really like Florida that much, anyway.

I was afraid of alligators.  I was afraid of sharks.  I was afraid of stingrays.  I was afraid of hurricanes.  I was afraid of poisonous spiders.  But most of all, I was afraid of poisonous snakes.  You know that little rhyme about "a friend of Jack" that tells you how to tell a poisonous snake from a harmless one?  Well, I never bothered to really figure it out because if I see a snake that MIGHT be poisonous, I'm not going to examine him closely enough to determine which kind he really is!  I'm going to run away!

But, here's the thing. . . I want to be where I am supposed to be.  But, how do you know?  Mrs. O and I talked about the timeline.  Is it possible the 5 years is over?  Was it supposed to be approximately five years?  When did the five years start anyway?  I had begun taking on the new role in August of 2014 even though the official position started in January 2015. . . could the 5 years be over in August?

I prayed again.  I thought back to the time when I had the strong sense that this was a five year job.  When I consider how I felt at that time, I try to remember as accurately as I can how I felt and what exactly I sensed was going to happen.  It seems impossible to remember the tiny details, but in these cases, it seems if I pray about it, I always seem to remember just a few of the most important details.  Writing these things down in a journal also helps!  I remember distinctly, the end of the five years feeling like it would come on December 31.  I don't really know how or why I remember that particular detail--I just prayed and asked and He answered.   

"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." James 1:5 (NIV)

The five years were 2015-2019.  I knew in my heart these were the five years and I would not feel free to move on until the end of the calendar year.  At church, the leaders had just begun a Bible study together: Experiencing God.  It was turning out to be a great study and I was really enjoying it.  It's funny--the lessons in the study were all about asking God to show you what he is about to do and follow Him into it.  Each lesson seemed to help me along the way through these months as Mrs. O and I struggled to discern the best way forward.

Mrs. O had similar feelings to mine and she added that if God was about to do something amazing in the next couple of months, she didn't want to run away and miss it.

So, I declined Florida, again.

This is one in a series of stories about the events of this last year.  If you want to start at the beginning, read about The Five Years. . . or go to the next one Inventory.