Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The Key to Assuming

It's not true what they say about assuming.  At least when you're assuming the best!  Unfortunately, for me, I wasn't assuming the best this morning.  I was in a bit of a rush.  I was looking for my keys.  This is fairly routine.  All else being equal, there's about a 50 percent chance that my keys will be in the pocket of the pants I wore yesterday.  There's about a 20 percent chance they'll be on the hook by the door.  There's about a 20 percent chance they'll be on the little table by my bed, and there's about a 10 percent chance they'll be somewhere else.  At 7:30 this morning, it was time to leave and I was down to the 10 percent chance that my keys were 'somewhere else.'  I just couldn't remember which somewhere else it was.

I hunted.  I hollered, "Mrs O. . . "  I do actually call her Mrs O at home.  ". . . I can't find my keys."  She is not alarmed by the news.  You can hardly call it 'news' at all, in fact.  It happens frequently.  You might even call it part of my morning routine.  I'm now 2 minutes late and counting.  I'm retracing steps. . . I drove us on our date last night. . . Ahhh!  Mrs O took the babysitter home.  I dive into her purse and rummage around.


Oh, wait!  The little secret inside pockets.  I try again. 


I think to myself, "I KNOW [read: assume] you used my keys to take the babysitter home and didn't put them on the hook.  You ALWAYS tell me how I need to put my keys on the hook so I won't lose them and then you take my keys and don't return them to the hook and now I can't find the keys in your purse and I'm almost getting lost in here myself. . ."

Mrs O comes up the stairs and says, "Why don't you just take that set on the hook?" 

"I don't like that set.  Those are yours.  I don't like your dangly cow-girl boot key chain!"  *sigh*  "Oh, alright.  I know I'm being silly, and I'm late."  I turn to open the door. . . I turn back to Mrs O. . .

"You're gonna laugh so hard," I say sheepishly.

"Is the car already running?"  She asks as though she doesn't already know the answer.

"Uhhh, yeah!"  I had started the car while taking the garbage out only minutes before.  I mean, we're talking 3 maybe 4 minutes.  See, I have this short-term memory thing. . . or rather, I wish I did have a short-term memory thing, but there are days when I think I don't have any short-term memory at all.

Note to self: Assume the best--the alternative can be embarrassing!

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