Random acts of giving

One of my favorite annual events starts today!

It's the semi-annual sale at Bath and Body Works--yes, I said 'annual' event because the sale in December is not nearly as good!

Mrs O loves their stuff!  I like to stock up on these things in June.  I stash them and give them at random times throughout the year.  It makes giving spontaneous gifts easier, because all I have to do is go to my stash!

Practicing random gift giving has proven helpful for me in many ways.  I learned early on, to value the big days like Valentine's Day, our Anniversary, and Mrs O's birthday.  I don't want to guess how my gift will make Mrs O feel.  I want to KNOW that she will feel priceless.

Learning to give those gifts can be stressful.

Did I get the right thing?

What's she going to say?

After an anniversary, one co-worker once told me, "I've got a lot of making-up to do next year."

My solution was to give little gifts at random, unexpected times.  When Mrs O isn't expecting a gift, ANY gift exceeds her expectations.  I have learned a lot about how she works based on her responses.  I have learned that she likes tulips more than roses, she uses bubble bath more than lotion and a few minutes of quite bath-time solitude are more precious than pearls!

Knowing these things makes gift giving all the easier, no matter the occasion.

(By the way, I am not affiliated with Bath and Body Works, except as a regular customer.  No one asked me to say any of this, I just really mean it.  I make no money from Bath and Body Works, whatsoever.  As a matter of fact, quite the contrary!)

The Key to Assuming

It's not true what they say about assuming.  At least when you're assuming the best!  Unfortunately, for me, I wasn't assuming the best this morning.  I was in a bit of a rush.  I was looking for my keys.  This is fairly routine.  All else being equal, there's about a 50 percent chance that my keys will be in the pocket of the pants I wore yesterday.  There's about a 20 percent chance they'll be on the hook by the door.  There's about a 20 percent chance they'll be on the little table by my bed, and there's about a 10 percent chance they'll be somewhere else.  At 7:30 this morning, it was time to leave and I was down to the 10 percent chance that my keys were 'somewhere else.'  I just couldn't remember which somewhere else it was.

I hunted.  I hollered, "Mrs O. . . "  I do actually call her Mrs O at home.  ". . . I can't find my keys."  She is not alarmed by the news.  You can hardly call it 'news' at all, in fact.  It happens frequently.  You might even call it part of my morning routine.  I'm now 2 minutes late and counting.  I'm retracing steps. . . I drove us on our date last night. . . Ahhh!  Mrs O took the babysitter home.  I dive into her purse and rummage around.

Nothing. 

Oh, wait!  The little secret inside pockets.  I try again. 

Nothing. 

I think to myself, "I KNOW [read: assume] you used my keys to take the babysitter home and didn't put them on the hook.  You ALWAYS tell me how I need to put my keys on the hook so I won't lose them and then you take my keys and don't return them to the hook and now I can't find the keys in your purse and I'm almost getting lost in here myself. . ."

Mrs O comes up the stairs and says, "Why don't you just take that set on the hook?" 

"I don't like that set.  Those are yours.  I don't like your dangly cow-girl boot key chain!"  *sigh*  "Oh, alright.  I know I'm being silly, and I'm late."  I turn to open the door. . . I turn back to Mrs O. . .

"You're gonna laugh so hard," I say sheepishly.

"Is the car already running?"  She asks as though she doesn't already know the answer.

"Uhhh, yeah!"  I had started the car while taking the garbage out only minutes before.  I mean, we're talking 3 maybe 4 minutes.  See, I have this short-term memory thing. . . or rather, I wish I did have a short-term memory thing, but there are days when I think I don't have any short-term memory at all.

Note to self: Assume the best--the alternative can be embarrassing!

Unexpecting the expected

(since this is part two, you might want to start with part one if you haven't read it already!)

Finding the answer to the anger management problem isn't easy.  In fact, sometimes I think that finding the problem isn't easy.  What, exactly, is the problem?  The problem is that I'm confused about what the problem is. 

It reminds me of a story I read in a magazine once.  It was about a guy who bought a house and turned his new backyard into an awesome garden with all sorts of cool plants and trees.  The guy had a couple of huge dogs, though.  Now, if you have dogs, you know that they are creatures of habit.  They wear paths through your lawn because they always run around the corner of the house in the same spot.  Well, this gardener and dog lover had a method: he let the dogs loose in the new yard for a couple of weeks.  When he found the paths being worn, he incorporated them into the landscape.  He made pathways where the dogs naturally wanted to walk.  That's a man who knows what the problem is: his ideal.  His expectation.

If I expect everyone to live up to my ideal, then I get frustrated.  People don't live up to my ideal. . . I don't even live up to my ideal.  That's annoying!  I get annoyed and frustrated and then I get confused about the problem.  I get to thinking that the problem is that people aren't living up to my ideal, when the problem is really that I am trying to restrict them to my ideal in the first place.  Even if they're wrong, I can't restrict them to my ideal.  God gave them the freedom to be wrong.  Shouldn't I be at least as lenient as He.